Impact of parental behavior and psychological impact of neglect

Impact of parental behavior and psychological impact of parental neglect

Seemingly subtle impact of parental behavior and sacrificing the psychological wellbeing of children for the sake of materialistic economic prosperity

There are at least 15 types of parental behavior that seemingly impact their child in stealthy ways.  The consequences, however, are much less subtle.  They may even cause major psychological damage to the child.

(1)  Constantly arguing and fighting in front of the child.

Such parental behavior causes the child to feel depressed and often angry.  The child often does not understand why they are constantly arguing and fighting.

(2)  Lying to the child and lying in front of the child.

The child becomes confused as to what is the truth and what is a lie.

(3)  Jaywalking with the kid.

This is more a Chinese mainland parental behavior.  It subtly teaches the child to ignore rules and common sense behavior.

(4)  Not consistently showing parental care and love for the kid.

The child becomes emotionally confused, not able to distinguish what is genuine expressions of love and caring.

(5)  Forcing the kid to say which parent he or she likes better.

This forces the child to choose between the two, subtly forcing the child to emotionally separate one from the other.  The consequence is a strong feeling of parental incompleteness.

(6)  Treating siblings differently, and treating one’s own child and other people’s children differently.

This is usually manifested by chastizing one’s own child and constantly praising other people’s children.  It creates in one’s own child a sense of inferiority complex.

(7) Constantly comparing one’s own child with other people’s children.

This usually reflects the parent’s feling of inadequacy and the parent’s inner feeling of jealousy and desire to catching up with the Joneses.

(8)  Neglecting the good behavior and the potential talent of the child.

This discourages the child and hinders the development of the child’s interests.

(9)  Criticizing and chastizing one’s own kid before other people’s children.

Again, this discourages the child, creates an inferiority complex in the child and as a consequence, the child may acquire a feeling of hatred towards others.

(10) Not yielding and not compromising in arguments in front of the child.

The child learns to behave in a similar way by observation.  The child learns to never yield in an argument, even when the child knows that his or her argument is wrong.

(11) Being an “incompetent” mom.

An incompetent mom is defined as a mother who does not teach her child household skills, such as cooking, sewing, keeping a clean house, or milking a cow, etc.

(12) Being a TV couch potato mom.

This behavior creates a feeling in the child of being neglected, a feeling that a TV soap opera is more important than the child.  The kid learns to prioritize petty, insignificant, unrealistic things.  The kid also learns to neglect and ignore, intentionally or unintentionally, the realities of the surroundings.

(13) Being an overly demanding mom, constanting demanding perfection from the child.

The child will feel “tired” of having to always perform perfectly just to please the mother’s demands.  Retribution is often constant nagging by the mother, and the child regards constant nagging as disapproval, and the nagging becomes psychologically invasive.

(14) Constanting making comparisons between the child and other people’s children.

The comparisons are most often chastizement of the child and praising of other people’s children.  The child feels dejected and acquires an inferiority complex, feeling that he or she can never catch up with the other children and that he or she can never win similar praise from the parents.

(15) Constantly neglecting, suppressing the child’s wishes.

The child feels that no matter how good he or she behaves and no matter how good he or she performs, he or she will not be able to win the attention of the parents.  By suppressing the child’s wishes and queries, the child will lose ambition and interest in achievement.

The psychological cost of China’s pursuit of economic growth

The director of the Research Institute of Fundamental Theory of Education at Beijing Normal University named Zheng Xinrong pointed out that China sacrificed the basic psychological health of left behind children in its pursuit of economic growth and prosperity.  Parents leave their children behind to work elsewhere, neglecting and abandoning their children, so they try to shower their neglected children with material gifts as if such gifts can substitute for their neglect.

The psychological consequence is a feeling of abandonment and segregation.  Materialism has replaced parental love and children grow up equating material gratification with human love.

Sadly, it is the pursuit of materialistic prosperity that has sacrificed the psychological wellbeing of so many children.


About masterchensays

Victor Chen, herbalist, alternative healthcare lecturer, Chinese affairs analyst, retired journalist
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